Be realistic. Try to keep your expectations of the holidays in line with the true circumstances of your life. Celebrate the joy of what you have rather than the unattainable joy of what you wish you had. Be anxious for nothing. When you are feeling down, openly acknowledge your feelings through prayer, giving yourself permission to feel these emotions. Allow yourself to see the holidays as a time of reflection as well as a celebration of what your life is now. To put things into perspective, try waking up early and watching a sunrise with a cup of hot cocoa or coffee in hand and focus on the power of God. Some people like to keep a journal of all that they are grateful for. Others make a list of the negatives and the positives that have influenced them over the year. Deal with the feelings that this list evokes. Christmas is about Christ and is a time of sharing and giving.
Holiday traditions must change over the years. Clinging to old expectations and trying to recreate old feelings which are now part of your memories can contribute to holiday stress and blues. One should continue to adhere to those old rituals which are realistic. Write down positives about past Christmases. Create a box of old memories and traditions. Now include in this box new traditions that you want to create, like starting a journal to record happy thoughts throughout the year. Set up the holiday box so each family member can put a piece of paper in it with their favorite holiday memory to be read while decorating or on Christmas Eve. Keep the spirit of Christmas alive in your home by reminding yourself of the festivity of the occasion.
If you have feelings of grief or loss, acknowledge them. Recognize and accept that both positive and negative feelings may be experienced during the holidays, and that this is normal. It’s natural to feel the loss of, and to grieve, those people and experiences that are no longer an active part of your life. Don’t pretend that feelings of loss or emptiness are not there if you have them. Say a special prayer, make a special ornament, reminisce and continue living. If you are feeling lonely, get out and get around other people. This may also be the perfect time to rekindle a lost relationship with God and start a new chapter in your life.
Surround yourself with supportive people as you need to connect with loved ones. Even if you haven’t gotten along with your relatives in 15 years, now may be the time to make changes. Try to accept people just as they are. Set old grievances and discussions about unresolved feelings aside. You could do one good thing for someone in the family you haven’t gotten along with in the past as this could be the start of the healing process. Don’t use the holidays as a time for family therapy, whether before, during or shortly after. Most of all, enjoy those who are around you.
Plan ahead. Set priorities and make a budget before the holidays. Plan your calendar for shopping, baking, visiting and other events you want to accomplish. Create a “To Do List” because this will provide you with a feeling of control over the situation and the feeling that things are not hopeless. It helps to realistically think about what you can afford by paying closer attention to your finances. Create a budget for yourself and don’t go over it. Donate to a worthy cause instead of spending money on unnecessary gifts, which will probably just be discarded at a later date, like into a land-fill. Give priority to gifts that can’t be bought such as time, support and sharing of memories.
Set limits to maintain a balanced diet by eating and drinking in moderation. Get plenty of rest. The more worn out you are, the more susceptible you are to the blues. Get involved with community service. Consider volunteering for non-profit organizations or visiting a nursing home as a good way to remember the spirit of giving during the holidays. Make pacts with friends to motivate each other such as getting outdoors and exercising regularly but pace yourself. Don’t take on more activities, make more commitments, or try and do more than you can reasonably handle during the holidays.
Take care of yourself and make the holidays a true celebration of life and all it can be. Let God help you to reach out and make new friends, especially if you will be alone during the holidays.
